I’m Sick & Boys Suck

This morning I woke up feeling especially glamorous; the sun was shining softly through my window, birds were cheerfully singing to one another, and I felt happy and refreshed and ready for the day as my loyal butler brought my morning omelet and orange juice to me in bed on a silver platter.

PSYCH.

I was actually jolted awake by the sound of my dog barking frantically at 10:45 am. I jumped up quickly to see what the matter was, head pounding like a drum and body aching like no other. Turns out the wind was rustling the leaves on the tree across the street and clearly I needed to be alerted of that fact. Thanks bud. I shakily fed myself a few bites of cereal before crashing on the couch with him.

I woke up for the second time, disoriented and still feeling awful. I realized that I had not seen any of my family members and that it was late enough into the day that I should have by this point. I proceeded to call and text them frantically. No one responded or answered so I worriedly fell back into a restless sleep, assuming that they had died seeing as that would be the only reasonable conclusion to draw; why else wouldn’t they reply to my caps locked over-punctuated messages?

I woke up a third time to a text from my mother saying to not worry, they were at the movies. Whew. They were alive.

Just as I was drifting off into a relieved slumber, my phone hummed again, alerting me of another message. With blurred eyes I clicked on the notification. I had to do a double-take at the name of the sender that was glowing at me. It was him! My said “friend” from the last post! Wasn’t I just saying that he hadn’t talked to or thought about me for the past two weeks? And yet here was his message, saying hello and asking how my break was going! I stared at the message in disbelief and amusement for a few moments before I put my phone down and rolled over to go back to sleep. It’d be stupid to reply instantly, and I was too sick and incoherent to reply sanely anyways. Better to wait til I was less sleepy and more well to deal with him.

The fourth and final time I woke up this morning, I was still feeling less than glamorous. Like, much much less. My headache was splitting, my throat was sore, and the aches in my bones and muscles were unbearable. My family had returned from the movies and came to my rescue, making me tea and inspiring me to get up and start moving around.

When I checked my phone again to reply to my friend, I saw that he had sent me a second message. “By the way, ” it began, and already I knew I was going to be disappointed, “can I borrow…” And yup. There it was. My disappointment. The friendly message about my holiday and well-being were just a precursor to a favor I could help him out with. Because at least he’s considerate and aware enough to realize that asking me out of the blue after having not spoken to me in two weeks would have been rude. He could have, however, at least done me the favor of pretending that he wasn’t contacting me only because I could possibly help him by waiting for me to respond to his first message and maybe carrying out a short conversation with me, like friends do, before interjecting with his “by the wayyyyy….”

It’s cool though, it’s cool. It’s whatever. Turns out, I couldn’t help him out (what he wanted to borrow was no longer in my possession) so, hah, SUCKS TO SUCK now doesn’t it? Especially since he clearly saw, but never replied to my “Oh, sorry, I can’t help you! But, hey, how are you?? Break is going well thanks, how’s yours?”

Ugh. Boys. Why.

But to be completely honest, if I could have helped him I totally would have, regardless of the fact he only talked to me to ask a favor. Because to be fair, I use him just about as much as he uses me. Don’t get me wrong, I care about him, but I manage to use him regardless. Like I said, it’s a complicated friendship. One to probably be discussed at a later point.

My day continued to be significantly unglamorous. I’m not sure that’s a word, but I don’t really care. I never got an omelet or orange juice, although I did consume massive amounts of water and tea with honey to the point where I pretty much went pee all day. Unglamorous. I spent more than half of my waking hours on the couch in PJ’s under blankets. Unglamorous. I also coughed, sniffled, and burped endlessly. Unglamorous.

I did, however, manage to shower and put on fresh clothes that I hadn’t been wearing for the past 12 hours to hang out with a very good friend of mine who came to see me. She and I lazed around on my bed, talking and catching up and concluded our evening eating quesadillas and watching one of our absolute favorite movies; The Perks of Being a Wallflower. My intense feelings of love and adoration for this book/movie/story are too extensive to talk about now, but you can pretty much expect a post on Perks eventually/soon/multiple times because it’s literally my favorite. I- I- I don’t even have the words to say right now just THINKING about it so I’m just going to stop talking.

The streak of my unglamorousness continued as I cried throughout the movie and stuffed my face with greasy cheesy tortilla goodness. Unglamorous, indeed.

Now I want nothing more than to crawl into bed, although I spent most of the day sleeping. Maybe I’ll read Perks again for the 50th time before falling asleep. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll get my glamorous, sun shining, birds singing morning tomorrow. I might even make an omelet.

– Jade Alexandra

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