Hello friends, are you still here? I survived. I’m alive. Hooray! (I think).
Anyways, its continued to be rough, but you know, right now I feel okay. I’m coping with it, I got a handle on it at least for now. Even though this week has sucked, the week before was spring break which was great. I got to road trip up to Northern California with my roommate. We stopped in LA where I got to be part of a cool modeling event. Got paid to get pretty and walk down a runway and have people ooh and ahh at me. And then got free drinks at the cocktail party that took place afterwards (fyi; my raspberry martini was much better than my parents’ sparkling white wine). After spending the night in Redondo Beach we drove up to her house in Sacramento, bummed around there for a few days before heading over to San Fransisco. I had never been to upstate before and San Fran was really cool. We shopped and explored and ate really good food. So that was super fun. And after a few days there we drove back down to my good old Sandy Eggo for school. Being back at school was so hard. Spring break was such a tease and the weather has been great. Its hard to want to be in class studying.
Speaking of teases, a certain someone I know is a little bitch and I’m currently pissed off at him. I’ll eventually forgive him for being a huge jerk to me and making me cry off and on nonstop for roughly 24 hours because I’m pathetic but whatever. Last night was great cuz I got to go out and party with some friends; danced, laughed, got maybe just a lil tipsy and didn’t think about him once for the whole night. Today I slept till noon, bummed around on the beach, it’s been great. I don’t know if there’s much alcohol, sleep, and the beach can’t fix. And writing can be a fix when nothing at all helps which is how this dumb lil poem came about:
Do Not Fall in Love with a Magician because He Will Rendezvous with the Other Showgirls and Saw You to Pieces
Can you show me how
You smile without smiling?
Can you tell me why
Your eyes won’t stop twinkling?
Can you explain to me
The magic in your touch
That makes your calloused palms
Feel like silken wonders on my skin?
Can you reveal to me
Your secrets of seduction?
Your claims to captivation?
Where is the trap that hides your heart?
What is she doing up your sleeve?
Don’t release me like the rest of them;
Show me the mirrors so I can see
Through your sultry smoke and haze
To the man behind the act
Who doesn’t need sensual smiles
And tricky twinkles to live and love.
Can you show me how to love you?
Can you tell me how to save you?
I’ll stand beside you nightly,
Lie next to you every evening
Volunteering to be impaled
Because I’ve found its worth being
Kept in a box and cut in pieces
If it means you’re the one holding the saw.
So yeah, I’ve definitely been terrible at keeping up with this blog. I apologize profusely for anyone who cares. If anyone has desperately been awaiting a post from me I am deeply sorry, though I doubt anyone like that truly exists because I am a piece of shit writer with nothing important to say! But it’s cool. I need to do this for me anyways. The more I write, the better I’ll be (hopefully). I may or may not be one of those people where the phrase “practice makes perfect” just doesn’t apply because I’m really that bad. Regardless, I’ll do my best to be better at this whole blogging deal. I hope you all have survived the past few weeks with me and that if not you can get yourself to some alcohol or the beach real quick cuz otherwise I don’t know what else to tell ya. Best of luck, know that I’m right there with you.
– Jade Alexandra