Not Over U

I still want him after he broke my heart and I wrote pathetic stories about him not to mention a million terrible poems he doesn’t even deserve the words I write or the thoughts I have or the skin on my body but sometimes I still want him to have them all

1:33am

 

He was my first kiss, my first everything he will be with me forever I will never be able to lose him to bleed him out or suffocate him without killing myself he is in my bones

Fuck him fuck him he doesn’t deserve any of that why am I crying

1:35am

 

I wish I had rejected him I wish I had never fallen under his spell I wish that rejecting him would have been enough but he wouldn’t have given a shit he would have just found someone else and someone else and someone else and I wouldn’t have mattered I never mattered

1:38am

 

He didn’t ever give a shit even after the first time we kissed last November I had to basically beg to see him again god I only further inflated his damn ego and now he’s so proud of himself for being my firsts and holy shit it’s been a year since he started destroying me

1:42am

 

 

-Jade Alexandra

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